Autonomy in Sex and Relationships: History, Power, and Personal Freedom

When we talk about autonomy, the right to make free, informed choices about one’s own body and sexual life. Also known as bodily integrity, it’s the foundation of every healthy sexual relationship—and one of the most contested rights in human history. This isn’t just about saying yes or no. It’s about who gets to decide when, how, and with whom. For centuries, autonomy over sex was locked away by law, religion, medicine, and gender norms. Women were told their pleasure was dangerous. LGBTQ+ people were labeled sick. Sex workers were criminalized. And yet, time and again, people found ways to reclaim control—even when it meant breaking rules, hiding in plain sight, or writing forbidden poems.

Consent, a legal and moral agreement rooted in mutual understanding and ongoing communication. Also known as affirmative consent, it’s the most visible expression of autonomy today—but even this idea was once radical. Before the 1970s, marriage was seen as lifelong permission. Rape within marriage wasn’t a crime in most places. Women’s orgasms were dismissed as unnecessary. Autonomy didn’t just mean saying no to sex—it meant demanding to know why you were having it, who it served, and whether you truly wanted it. Meanwhile, gender roles, socially enforced expectations about how men and women should behave, especially in intimacy. Also known as traditional gender norms, they were tools to keep people in line. Victorian men were supposed to be dominant, women passive. Modern men are told to be stoic, women to be accommodating. These scripts don’t just limit behavior—they erase choice. Real autonomy means breaking those scripts, even when it’s uncomfortable, even when your family doesn’t get it.

What you’ll find in these articles isn’t theory. It’s the real, messy, courageous history of people fighting for control over their own bodies. From Etruscan tomb paintings that treated sex as sacred, to Victorian doctors who called masturbation a disease, to modern LGBTQ+ activists demanding legal protection beyond marriage—this is the story of how autonomy was stolen, hidden, and slowly taken back. You’ll read about Anne Koedt reclaiming the clitoris, about Nashe’s banned dildo poem, about police raids on gay bars and the women who used steam-powered vibrators to defy medical control. These aren’t just old stories. They’re blueprints. For anyone who’s ever felt silenced, shamed, or told their desires were wrong—this is proof that autonomy wasn’t given. It was won.