Orgasm Gap: Why Women’s Pleasure Is Still Left Behind

When we talk about the orgasm gap, the persistent difference in orgasm rates between men and women during sexual encounters. Also known as the pleasure disparity, it’s not a glitch—it’s a pattern built over centuries of ignoring female desire as anything more than a side effect of reproduction. Studies show that in heterosexual sex, men orgasm 95% of the time, while women do so less than 65% of the time—and that number drops even lower when sex isn’t planned or focused on her needs. This isn’t about biology. It’s about what we were taught to value.

The clitoris, the only human organ built purely for pleasure. Also known as the source of female orgasm, has over 8,000 nerve endings—more than any other part of the body—but for decades, doctors called it irrelevant to reproduction. Victorian medicine dismissed it. Freud called women who needed it "immature." Even today, many sex education programs skip it entirely. Meanwhile, the vaginal orgasm myth, the false idea that penetration alone leads to female climax. Also known as the penetrative standard, was pushed as the only "mature" way for women to experience pleasure. Anne Koedt’s 1968 essay shattered that lie, proving every female orgasm is clitoral, whether direct or indirect. Yet, that truth still hasn’t reached most bedrooms.

The orgasm gap isn’t just a bedroom issue—it’s tied to how women are treated in relationships, media, and even healthcare. Men are taught to focus on their own release. Women are taught to be quiet, accommodating, and grateful for whatever they get. Porn, which most people learn sex from, rarely shows women climaxing unless it’s scripted, exaggerated, or forced. And when women do speak up, they’re often told they’re "too picky," "overly sensitive," or "not trying hard enough." Meanwhile, the real fix is simple: prioritize clitoral stimulation, communicate without shame, and stop treating female pleasure as optional.

What you’ll find in these posts isn’t just history—it’s the unspoken story of how female pleasure got buried under morality, medicine, and male-centered norms. From Victorian doctors who used steam vibrators to treat "hysteria," to modern research proving orgasm has health benefits beyond reproduction, these articles pull back the curtain. You’ll see how silence was used as control, how feminism fought to bring the clitoris into the light, and why the orgasm gap still exists even as society claims to be more open. This isn’t about fixing women. It’s about fixing the system that forgot they deserve to feel good.